Dolly Alderton - "I wrote Nick Cave a letter asking him to fix my problems"

Virgin Radio

24 Oct 2022, 07:59

The Agony Aunt has a new book out! It might make your life better!

The Sunday Times columnist Dolly Alderton is known for her wisdom and sharp observations when it comes to navigating thorny emotions.

Her Agony Aunt column Dear Dolly has ran in the paper since 2020, while her award winning 2018 memoir, Everything I Know About Love, was adapted into a BBC/Peacock television drama too.

A collection of those columns is now going to be released as a book, Dear Dolly: On Love, Life and Friendship, and Dolly appeared on The Graham Norton Radio Show this weekend to tell us all about it.

"I think there's something intimate about writing a letter to someone," she says, "even if you don't get a response back. It feels like a personal relationship, the minute that you've written something down and acknowledge that someone might have felt what you felt.

She continued, "But I also think that it might be something about the tyranny of too much choice in this day and age - that thing of how difficult it is to know what to do and how to live your best life. I think there's something about the old fashioned thing of a matronly man or woman telling you exactly how you can make your life easier. I definitely see the appeal of it."

Dolly went on to talk about how she thinks just writing down a problem can help formulate how to deal with said problem, better than it merely ruminating in your mind.

"I wrote to Nick Cave in 2020," she says, "He writes a newsletter called The Red Hand Files where his fans write in and then he's sort of a mystical philosopher Agony Uncle and he writes his response.

She continues, "I knew when I wrote the question - which I'm not going to tell you because it's so embarrassing! - that he wouldn't reply. But I also remember that I wrote it thinking, 'Oh, I've sort of got my answer. I already know. I already know what he would say'. And then I knew what I would say to myself..."

Do you have a problem you need help with? We know just the book for you. Dear Dolly: On Love, Life and Friendship is available to buy now.

Listen to The Graham Norton Radio Show every Saturday AND Sunday from 9:30 am on Virgin Radio or catch up on-demand here.